i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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