Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
