come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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