so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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