haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
