Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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