this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
