i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
