What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize