he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
