do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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