i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
