sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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