You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
