she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
