Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
