IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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