well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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