Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
