dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
