I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
