Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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