His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
