i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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