Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
this hospital has no fireball
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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