I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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