His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So many bounce houses so little time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
