3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
being pregnant is like rehab
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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