I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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