just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
