You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
