I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
