One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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