Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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