Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
