I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
