no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
