Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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