I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
