So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
