All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
