would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
