Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize