4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
