i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
