i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
they need to just BURY HIM!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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