She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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