Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize