3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
