bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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