Swine flu is the new snow day.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
