my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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