these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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