His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
