Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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