Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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