drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
