Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
