I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
