I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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