why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
