Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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