just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
