yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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