when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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