No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
