Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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