Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
