Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
