he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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