Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Randomize
