You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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