he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize